Striking Back

When the editor told me I’d be coming back to print, he couldn’t resist teasing me a little about the date.

“For you, that would be May 4, which seems appropriate for your column,” he wrote.

I didn’t even know that he cared about Dave Brubeck Day, with its 5/4 jazz rhythm that celebrates the slightly offbeat and …

OK, who are we kidding?

Cue the John Williams fanfare, please.

Yes, “Rochat, Can You See?” is returning to the Times-Call on International Star Wars Day – as in “May the Fourth Be With You.” For a self-confessed geek with a love of puns, there truly could be no better time to retake the stage.

Especially this year.

What do I mean? OK, let’s have Industrial Light & Magic roll the opening narration …

Like a lot of my generation, I grew up with Star Wars in my blood. My sisters and I frequently re-imagined the backyard swing set as a trio of X-wing fighters, with the two-seater as the sorta-trusty Millennium Falcon. We envisioned new daring tales that would surely leave our action-figure heroes scarred for life. (One time literally, when my youngest sister introduced Han Solo’s hand to the automatic pencil sharpener.)

And always, since its first release 40 years ago, my favorite of the tales has been “The Empire Strikes Back.”

It’s the darkest of the original films, which made it controversial at the time and an enduring classic now. Many of the most memorable images from that galaxy far, far away got their start here. Han Solo spitting out “Never tell me the odds!” The tiny Yoda with his mighty wisdom and his backward syntax. And of course the famous Darth Vader revelation to Luke that spawned three years of arguing among the fans. “Was he telling the truth? Psyching him out? We have to know!”

And in the days of COVID-19, it may be the film that most relates to us now.

No, I haven’t gone batty from too long in isolation. Consider for a minute.

The villain wears a mask and carries out most of his “essential work functions” from a distance. In one case, he even uses a monitor to remotely … ah … keep in touch with an employee.

The main character spends most of the picture isolated from his friends. And when he tries to come back to them too soon, it’s disastrous.

A lot of time is spent hiding, learning, trying to make repairs, trying to get stronger.

But most importantly – and more seriously – it’s a movie about endurance.

There isn’t a solid target to hit this time, no Death Star to destroy for an instant win. The heroes are overwhelmed at every turn, using everything they have just to keep going against a destructive force that isn’t holding back. By the end of the film, one of them has been maimed, a second destroyed and rebuilt, and a third has been taken by the enemy.

It’s a disaster in every sense except one.

Despite everything, the heroes are still standing at the end of it all. Still able to regroup. And still have hope for the future.

That’s huge.

And just maybe, it’s a comfort now.

We’ve been enduring a lot. We’ll be enduring more. It won’t be easy. Finding “normal” again is going to take slow, patient work.

But by enduring, we win.

By caring for each other, we win.

By taking the careful steps needed to protect all of us – especially the most vulnerable – we win.

Someday, there will be a more obvious victory, a moment to celebrate. But for now, it’s about the small moments. There’s still stress, still strain … but we’re still here.

We have hope.

And that’s a Force to be reckoned with.

Geeks Bearing Gifts

I never thought I’d say this. But after four years of being with us, it looks like Missy has embraced her inner geek.

Mind you, there are a lot of sides to Missy. More, perhaps, than a newcomer might realize. It’s easy to see the warm smile and note the physical and mental disabilities that have shaped her life. But if you spend even a short time with her, the many Missys beneath the surface begin to emerge.

There’s Missy the Jock, who lives for her weekly swim, her summer softball and any chance to hit the bowling alley. (“I wan’ go bowling!”)

There’s Missy the Prom Princess, who loves gorgeous dresses and hours of dancing to the loudest music she can find.

I’ve met Missy the Artist, who painted up a storm during the 2013 flood, Missy the Socialite who knows half the city and has never forgotten a face, even Missy the Flirt, who can pick out a new male friend within five minutes of entering a gathering, greeting him with wide eyes and a big “Hi!”

By contrast, Missy the Geek is much more recent.

I probably should have recognized the signs much sooner. After all, I’m of the tribe. I was a Tolkien fan by third grade, a D&D gamer by fourth, and by high school, you could have picked me out of a Where’s Waldo lineup or a Hollywood casting call. (“Pipe cleaner body, thick glasses, 300 books in his arms … ok, we can check ‘school nerd’ off the list.”)

Even so, it took a little while for me to realize that I suddenly had an apprentice.

Weekend trips would include forcible pointing at the game store, so she could get a new Pathfinder game book and pore over the lavish illustrations. Oh, and some sparkly dice, please.

A fascinated viewing of “The Empire Strikes Back” one day drew demands to watch Star Wars again – and an equal fascination with the other movies in the series. (Though even she got a little impatient with Episode I.)

And of course, there’s her entrancement with Harry Potter – the first bedtime reading that she ever pushed to repeat, and her favorite Halloween costume ever.

It’s been amazing for my wife and I to watch. And a little humbling. Because I don’t think it’s entirely an accident that Missy is becoming enthralled with this brave new world, even in a country where so many seem to be doing the same.

In fact, if you’ll forgive the brief descent into the world of the cool, it’s something Misters Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young reminded us of long ago: “Feed them on your dreams … the one they pick’s the one you’ll know by.”

Whether it’s wards with guardians, kids with parents, or friends with friends, you respond to what you see. And if you see them love something, it’s the most natural thing in the world to try it out.

As you do, you start to become what you love.

I’ve seen it in my own life. When we grew up, my sisters and I saw my parents constantly reading. Today, we could become branches of the Library of Congress – and could probably use its book budget, at that. Their lives became a model for ours.

I don’t mean to make it sound like an imposition or a brainwashing. More of a discovery. In trying new things, you always discover a little more of who you are. And if those things also belong to someone you care for, you discover a little more of what you share.

It’s a way of weaving a family. With or without actual kinship. To see it happen with Missy makes me realize how truly close we have all become.

One more face. One more strand of the heart. One more piece of love made manifest.

Right now, being a geek feels pretty cool.